It can get incredibly scary when you have back parts that are cult loyal and, as the front presenter part, you desperately want to have a relationship with Jesus but can't connect. There are seasons when His silence seems to engulf the loneliness you can already barely tolerate, and fear pushes its way into every … Continue reading The Day a Cult-Loyal Alter Couldn’t Touch Me
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When Access Is Hidden Inside Something You Love: An Excerpt from My Forthcoming Book.
The following is an excerpt from my forthcoming book, Blessings in the Battle: A Survivor Companion for Healing from SRA and Mind Control Programming. The book is still in development, so the final published wording may differ from this preview. I wanted to share this chapter excerpt because survivors can become overwhelmed by the fear … Continue reading When Access Is Hidden Inside Something You Love: An Excerpt from My Forthcoming Book.
Don’t Lose the Battle for Your Soul
There is a massive attack on ministries that come against the occult and try to help survivors heal. My life has not gone untouched by the serious accusations being made against both well-known and unknown people in this blood-soaked battle. I’ve watched people from all walks of life wield their words like sharpened weapons, forged … Continue reading Don’t Lose the Battle for Your Soul
Learning the Difference Between Godly Sorrow and Fear That Leads to Bondage
One of the hardest parts of healing is learning to recognize what you’re actually feeling. As survivors, we’ve spent so much of our lives disconnected from our emotions that when they finally begin to surface, it’s easy to lump everything together. If I’m crying, I’m going backwards. If I’m overwhelmed, maybe I’ve opened a door. … Continue reading Learning the Difference Between Godly Sorrow and Fear That Leads to Bondage
Is This Abandonment, or is an Old Wound Speaking?
I've been pondering all the times in my life when I wasn't expecting a big change and got blindsided by what I never saw coming. It felt like the floor fell out from under me and there was nothing that I could do about it. Sometimes it was my fault and sometimes not. It's like … Continue reading Is This Abandonment, or is an Old Wound Speaking?
A Watchman in My Own System
I had vision a few days ago of a weathered home with the doorway still open behind them as several disciples stepped back into the dirt road. The air felt heavy, and I knew it was because the message they carried had not been welcomed. They had come in obedience, ready to speak what the … Continue reading A Watchman in My Own System
When Gratitude and Loneliness Coexist
It’s been such a big transition with the most recent core part and her whole subsystem integrating. There’s a big difference between a part that has been split off of a part that split off of a part and a core part that holds so much essence, along with all the memories and emotions that … Continue reading When Gratitude and Loneliness Coexist
The Almost Truth: When Trauma Fills in the Blanks
One of the hardest things to untangle in healing is the almost truth. I do not mean an obvious lie. Obvious lies are usually easier to recognize once we have enough truth and safety around us. The almost truth is harder because it carries just enough reality to feel believable. It has enough evidence attached … Continue reading The Almost Truth: When Trauma Fills in the Blanks
The Day Sara Explained Why Her Treasure Box Was Never Empty
The first thing Sara noticed about the meadow was that the air felt alive. It wasn't cold or windy, but definitely alive. It moved differently there, thick and soft against her skin as though the atmosphere itself carried love inside it. Every breath filled her tiny lungs so deeply she thought she might burst into … Continue reading The Day Sara Explained Why Her Treasure Box Was Never Empty
Integration Didn’t Make Me Instantly Functional
A lot of professionals talk about integration as though it is a clinical endpoint or finish line survivors are supposed to strive toward until we finally arrive at healing. I have seen multiple therapists in my lifetime, and in one way or another, they all seemed to build a treatment plan that led toward this … Continue reading Integration Didn’t Make Me Instantly Functional