There was a time in my healing when I thought wisdom meant figuring everything out and trying to outthink the programming, outpace the memories, and somehow piece my life back together. But Scripture doesn’t describe wisdom as something intellectual we obtain by researching everything we can on the occult. It’s not piecing together clues to put ourselves back together without Yahweh’s help. That was never His plan or expectation for us. I’ve learned, mostly the hard way, that true wisdom is a gift from Yahweh like a revelation, impartation or supernatural insight. I tend to get downloads from Him when driving, so I use my phone to voice record what He shows me.
The more I read the Word, the more revelation He gives me. There really is no way around this. Studying scripture is what prepares us for the wisdom Yahweh wants to impart to us. It’s also the only way I know of to be able to discern if a new revelation is from Him or from the enemy. If you get a brilliant idea that you think is going to completely change your life, but it doesn’t line up with the Word, the enemy is setting you up.
From the very beginning, Yahweh made it clear that wisdom comes from Him alone. He told Moses, “Tell all the skilled and talented people whom I have endowed with a spirit of wisdom…” (Exodus 28:3). Wisdom isn’t something we produce. It’s something He gives. Joshua wasn’t wise because he was smart or strong; he was filled with the spirit of wisdom when Moses laid hands on him (Deut. 34:9).
Even Yeshua walked in this anointing: “And the Spirit of the LORD will rest on Him. The Spirit of wisdom and understanding, The Spirit of counsel and strength, The Spirit of knowledge and of the [reverential and obedient] fear of the LORD” (Isaiah 11:2).
Wisdom doesn’t come through effort; it comes through relationship. We gain book knowledge and become smarter by studying, but that is different from having godly wisdom. For so long, I didn’t understand that. I chased answers thinking knowledge would help me fix my life. But real wisdom comes from intimacy with Yahweh, not from constantly seeking the world’s answers on healing trauma. You’re going to find some good coping skills, but if you are SRA, the world’s mental health solutions are a band aid to our needs.
The Book of Job says God will show us “And [that He would] show you the secrets of wisdom! For sound wisdom has two sides. Know therefore that God forgets a part of your wickedness and guilt.” (Job 11:6). And that verse became real to me because healing is full of things that look one sided until Yahweh reveals the other side. I only saw one side of things in so many different ways, but He saw the whole picture. And that is why wisdom is more valuable than pearls or rubies (Job 28:18). It isn’t earned. It’s revealed.
Wisdom begins with the fear of YHWH. Not terror, but reverence, recognition, and alignment. When Psalm 111:10 says, “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,” and Proverbs echoes it again and again, it’s because wisdom starts when we stop relying on ourselves and start relying on Yahweh. So many times, I’ve had to camp out in Proverbs when my world was in chaos because I didn’t know what to do. The moments I crashed the hardest were the ones where I trusted my trauma responses more than I trusted His voice.
I find myself often saying, “Okay Yahweh, here You go, please make it make sense.” I consistently find myself in a place where the wisdom I’m given requires that I stand in faith because some of the deeper things do not fit into the theology I was taught growing up. The church didn’t teach me very much about obtaining godly wisdom, nor did it leave space for it. I’ve learned that I cannot get out of my own way when I have Yahweh in a box. His ways are so much higher than ours.
Godly wisdom requires we let our walls down and have a teachable heart. Psalm 90:12 warns us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. As a survivor, this meant acknowledging that I don’t have unlimited days to live in survival mode. I don’t have endless time to let programming run my decisions or for fear to dictate my steps. It also meant that I couldn’t just wait idly for my next appointment for someone else to help me. Life is short. Yahweh is eternal. I belong to Him. And every day that I don’t work on my healing is a day I lose.
I used to think wisdom looked like the men who smoked tobacco pipes while being certain of the knowledge they shared as they held everyone’s attention with intensity. I don’t even know where I got that from, but the early church selected leaders based on reputation and fruit “full of the Spirit and of wisdom” (Acts 6:3) not on how they could carry on a conversation. Wisdom shows up as character: integrity, discernment, obedience, humility, godliness. I’m learning to practice wisdom by keeping my mouth shut and watching to learn instead of listening to respond. Wisdom has taught me that some of my opinions should only be spoken in prayer.
If something in me produces fear, control, or pride, it’s not wisdom. Sometimes, what feels like discernment is actually programming or hypervigilance masquerading as godliness. Being slow to speak what we feel and see can save us a lot of repentance. Remember, Paul warns that people can think themselves wise but be fools (1 Cor. 3:18).
Paul said his message wasn’t about persuasive words or intellectual wisdom, but “a demonstration of the Spirit and power” (1 Cor. 2:4). He also wrote that “in Him are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Col. 2:3). Every memory. Every secret. Every piece of truth I was desperate to uncover was revealed to me by Yahweh. Reliving trauma, practicing methods I found online to recover memories, listening to all the podcasts and reading all the books did nothing to get my memories back. It actually prolonged my efforts because my focus was more on research than it was on sitting at His feet. Research has its place, but it will never replace the wisdom we can get only from Yahweh. One reason for that is that research does not produce fruit of the spirit. Relationship changes everything and our parts know that until we make space for that daily relationship with Yeshua, that we are not ready for the deeper memories.
Wisdom is Yahweh opening my eyes to the truth that I’m not able to see or accept on my own. For me, it’s not about gathering more information, it is seeking Yeshua. When we walk in the wisdom Yahweh gives, everything changes. Our decisions become grounded in truth, and we live differently. Our relationships become iron sharpening iron. Our boundaries become healthy and our discernment sharpens. We start loving others with a godly love instead of out of neediness. Our spiritual vision clears, and we start walking out our healing with purpose instead of desperation. And our lives begin to reflect the character of Christ. When someone has a spirit of wisdom, the conversation feels different. Perhaps when we carry a spirit of wisdom, it becomes our gift to those who don’t yet see the truth.