When I first started healing, I could not even think about my dad. It brought so much pain and loss to the surface. I don't know what I wanted or expected when I first listened to the video at the end of this post, but it certainly wasn't the emotional reaction I had. Nonetheless, it's … Continue reading I Could Not Call Him Father
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Can My Parts Hear Me Talking to Them?
With dissociative identity disorder (DID) that developed outside of SRA or mind control programming, parts tend to be able to hear each other much easier. They have a much less developed internal world without the bombs and traps that send survivors spiraling when set off. The front presenter part can still go for years without … Continue reading Can My Parts Hear Me Talking to Them?
The Kundalini Spirit
“See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit, which depends on human tradition and the spiritual forces of the world rather than on Christ” Colossians 2:8. Many believers genuinely love Yahweh and live faithfully committed to Him, yet still find themselves unknowingly bound by the Kundalini spirit. It’s subtle. … Continue reading The Kundalini Spirit
Witchcraft and Magick
I’ve been sorting through layers of deception for years, yet I still learn something new every day. From the first time I heard the term cult loyal part, I thought of pure darkness, an evil I didn’t want to touch. It felt like a force outside of me, something that would take over if I … Continue reading Witchcraft and Magick
A LOVE LETTER TO MY CULT LOYAL PARTS
Hi there, There is so much that I wish I could tell the world about you. I know how they look at you, blame you, detest you, and reject you. I see how they cross the street if they see you walk their way. The sidewalks are not big enough to hold the truth. So, … Continue reading A LOVE LETTER TO MY CULT LOYAL PARTS
Redemptive Gifts
For many SRA survivors, their presenting parts are not connected to their spirit. One way to know if you are disconnected from your spirit is if you cannot hear Yahweh’s voice. Another way is if you do not know about any of your programming or have your memories because your spirit knows all. It is … Continue reading Redemptive Gifts
A Mundane Sunday Until…
Have you ever had a dream that you knew was so much more than just a dream? I don’t usually remember my dreams very well, but when I do, they are packed with weirdness and information. Last night’s dream was no exception. It was a warning from the occult. I am not naïve to how … Continue reading A Mundane Sunday Until…
When You Can’t Rescue Them
It can feel impossible to let go of a part of someone else’s system that you have grown to love, but it is not safe to let them stay. Even if they are little, scared, and begging to stay, they need to go back to their own body. Survivors have often taken a part of … Continue reading When You Can’t Rescue Them
The Lie I Believed
I’ve been reflecting on who I am and how I am doing in the “quiet” parts of my life. When I’m at home with pajamas on and unkept hair with just my daughter, who does she say that I am? I can get so caught up in what the next step is or what I should be doing … Continue reading The Lie I Believed
The Last Instruction
I love confirmation. Especially when I’ve been trying to pray something through and feeling unsettled about things. Sometimes, it’s more uncomfortable to step down from a position we are not called to do than it is to press in and do it then deal with the consequences. I don’t want to disappoint anyone, or make … Continue reading The Last Instruction