There were walls built inside me long before I ever knew what to call them. No one could point to them from the outside, but inside, they were thick, reinforced, and necessary. Growing up surrounded by darkness, control, fear, and spiritual distortion, those walls became my way of staying alive. They held back memories. They … Continue reading Tearing Down Walls: A Journey to Healing and Connection
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The Day I Climbed into the TV to Find a Family
The TV hummed before it glowed. That’s how I remember it, not just turning on, but warming up, like it was waking up. The screen flickered blue, then gray static, then alive. I would sit cross-legged on the floor, close enough that the static buzz filled my ears and the light painted my face. Behind … Continue reading The Day I Climbed into the TV to Find a Family
Do Cults use Tattoos to Control People?
Tattoos can be used as a way to assign identity, signal belonging, rank, or loyalty. You can see this in gang dynamics, extremist groups, trafficking networks, and cult structures. In trafficking rings, tattoos are used for branding to make it easier for the buyers and sellers to recognize human trafficking victims. Symbols placed on the … Continue reading Do Cults use Tattoos to Control People?
The Storm is Officially Here
I read the words tonight that the storm is officially here and realized that those words mean something very different to me as a survivor. Honestly, I wanted to ask them when exactly they thought the storm ever left. Sometimes, I feel like I've come so far and learned so much. Then there are moments … Continue reading The Storm is Officially Here
I Could Not Call Him Father
When I first started healing, I could not even think about my dad. It brought so much pain and loss to the surface. I don't know what I wanted or expected when I first listened to the video at the end of this post, but it certainly wasn't the emotional reaction I had. Nonetheless, it's … Continue reading I Could Not Call Him Father
Can My Parts Hear Me Talking to Them?
With dissociative identity disorder (DID) that developed outside of SRA or mind control programming, parts tend to be able to hear each other much easier. They have a much less developed internal world without the bombs and traps that send survivors spiraling when set off. The front presenter part can still go for years without … Continue reading Can My Parts Hear Me Talking to Them?
Why “Send It Back to the Sender” Can Backfire
Here is a question another survivor asked, and every survivor eventually has to face: What happens if you know you are experiencing witchcraft, but you don’t realize that the source is you? What happens if you ask God to send it back to the sender, only to discover that you are the sender, and you … Continue reading Why “Send It Back to the Sender” Can Backfire
Learning to Trust Again
“Trust in YHWH with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5–6 Let’s be honest, sometimes trust feels like walking into a battlefield blindfolded. It feels raw and dangerous, and everything in us is screaming don’t do it. … Continue reading Learning to Trust Again
A LOVE LETTER TO MY CULT LOYAL PARTS
Hi there, There is so much that I wish I could tell the world about you. I know how they look at you, blame you, detest you, and reject you. I see how they cross the street if they see you walk their way. The sidewalks are not big enough to hold the truth. So, … Continue reading A LOVE LETTER TO MY CULT LOYAL PARTS
Working Through Programming Triggers
When a survivor tries to leave, starts to remember a memory, gets a big breakthrough, or starts to integrate parts of themselves, all hell tends to break lose. Programming can get activated without the survivor's knowledge, and the script will lie to them non-stop until they can recognize it and replace it with the truth. … Continue reading Working Through Programming Triggers