It can get incredibly scary when you have back parts that are cult loyal and, as the front presenter part, you desperately want to have a relationship with Jesus but can't connect. There are seasons when His silence seems to engulf the loneliness you can already barely tolerate, and fear pushes its way into every … Continue reading The Day a Cult-Loyal Alter Couldn’t Touch Me
god
When Access Is Hidden Inside Something You Love: An Excerpt from My Forthcoming Book.
The following is an excerpt from my forthcoming book, Blessings in the Battle: A Survivor Companion for Healing from SRA and Mind Control Programming. The book is still in development, so the final published wording may differ from this preview. I wanted to share this chapter excerpt because survivors can become overwhelmed by the fear … Continue reading When Access Is Hidden Inside Something You Love: An Excerpt from My Forthcoming Book.
Don’t Lose the Battle for Your Soul
There is a massive attack on ministries that come against the occult and try to help survivors heal. My life has not gone untouched by the serious accusations being made against both well-known and unknown people in this blood-soaked battle. I’ve watched people from all walks of life wield their words like sharpened weapons, forged … Continue reading Don’t Lose the Battle for Your Soul
Learning the Difference Between Godly Sorrow and Fear That Leads to Bondage
One of the hardest parts of healing is learning to recognize what you’re actually feeling. As survivors, we’ve spent so much of our lives disconnected from our emotions that when they finally begin to surface, it’s easy to lump everything together. If I’m crying, I’m going backwards. If I’m overwhelmed, maybe I’ve opened a door. … Continue reading Learning the Difference Between Godly Sorrow and Fear That Leads to Bondage
Is This Abandonment, or is an Old Wound Speaking?
I've been pondering all the times in my life when I wasn't expecting a big change and got blindsided by what I never saw coming. It felt like the floor fell out from under me and there was nothing that I could do about it. Sometimes it was my fault and sometimes not. It's like … Continue reading Is This Abandonment, or is an Old Wound Speaking?
A Watchman in My Own System
I had vision a few days ago of a weathered home with the doorway still open behind them as several disciples stepped back into the dirt road. The air felt heavy, and I knew it was because the message they carried had not been welcomed. They had come in obedience, ready to speak what the … Continue reading A Watchman in My Own System
This Is What Healing Did to My Bible
I grew up in church, went to a Christian school off and on throughout my childhood and I've read the Bible cover to cover many times. Yet, when I started getting memories and my parts started sharing their stories about what happened to them, the Bible changed for me. It reads differently now. The living … Continue reading This Is What Healing Did to My Bible
Tearing Down Walls: A Journey to Healing and Connection
There were walls built inside me long before I ever knew what to call them. No one could point to them from the outside, but inside, they were thick, reinforced, and necessary. Growing up surrounded by darkness, control, fear, and spiritual distortion, those walls became my way of staying alive. They held back memories. They … Continue reading Tearing Down Walls: A Journey to Healing and Connection
The Day I Climbed into the TV to Find a Family
The TV hummed before it glowed. That’s how I remember it, not just turning on, but warming up, like it was waking up. The screen flickered blue, then gray static, then alive. I would sit cross-legged on the floor, close enough that the static buzz filled my ears and the light painted my face. Behind … Continue reading The Day I Climbed into the TV to Find a Family
Do Cults use Tattoos to Control People?
Tattoos can be used as a way to assign identity, signal belonging, rank, or loyalty. You can see this in gang dynamics, extremist groups, trafficking networks, and cult structures. In trafficking rings, tattoos are used for branding to make it easier for the buyers and sellers to recognize human trafficking victims. Symbols placed on the … Continue reading Do Cults use Tattoos to Control People?